Crazy Cat

More rumors are surfacing that Government Ministers are considering outsourcing Defense to the lowest bidder. Possible candidates include G4S, Germany, Italy, China and Iran. The last offers the advantage that kamekazes are a lot cheaper than missiles.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/revealed-the-great-outsourcing-scandal-as-firms-cut-corners-to-cream-profits-off-public-8715119.html

http://uk.reuters.com/article/2013/11/15/uk-britain-outsourcing-idUKBRE9AE11P20131115

Today the center of Cambridge was closed for a bomb alert. Rumors that the real reason was that the P.M. was trying to find out the price of a loaf without being seen were denied.

Today a government minster denied they were considering out-sourcing tax collection to a private company based in the Cayman Isles. "I'm just here for a quiet holiday." he added.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/google/10343014/Googles-UK-division-paid-12m-in-corporation-tax-in-2012.html

http://www.thesundaytimes.co.uk/sto/business/Companies/article1310726.ece

Today a NHS administer denied they are still forgetting to feed patients. "The skeleton in question is purely used for training purposes and has nothing to do with the many patients the NHS has lost over the years."

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2287332/Nearly-1-200-people-starved-death-NHS-hospitals-nurses-busy-feed-patients.html

http://www.theguardian.com/society/2013/mar/03/nhs-watchdog-malnutrition-hospitals

Today the government has announced the introduction of glass bins for the unemployed and low paid. A government spokesperson said "This will make food banks totally unnecessary (unnötig) and make it easier to window shop.